Somebody raise a glass to progress. Go ahead, toast professional growth. A small acknowledgement, at least, is due the man with the purse strings. The worst team money can buy is playing at FedEx Field on Sunday and -- heraldic trumpets, please -- it's finally not Daniel Snyder's.

The all-in Philadelphia Eagles are a loss away from the implosion of their season. Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie, the man who doled out his millions on the advice of his coach, Andy Reid, must feel like he's in some bad reality show in which owners swap franchises and business practices.

Philly's offseason plan could read like an impulsive email from Washington, replete with bullet points: